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Jay's Site.com > Humor > Jokes > Blonde Jokes
A businessman got into an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, 'T-G-I-F'
He smiled at her and replied,
'S-H-I-T'
She looked at him puzzled and said, 'T-G-I-F' again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, 'S-H-I-T.'
The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, 'T-G-I-F' another time.
The man smiled back at her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, 'S-H-I-T.'
The blonde finally decided to explain things and this time she said, 'T-G-I-F. Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?'
The man answered, 'S-H-I-T, Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
'I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, arse hole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but also women in general, all in the name of humor'
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up,
'You stay out of this mister. I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee.'
This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.
She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.
When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,
'Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?'
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'
The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,
'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'
The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,
'If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your arse.'
Joe took his blonde blind date to a seaside carnival.
'What would you like to do first, Kim?' asked Joe.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
They ambled over to the weight guesser, who guessed 70 kg. Kim got on the scale and it read 67 kg and she won a prize. .
Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over,
Joe again asked Kim what she wanted to do next.
'I want to get weighed,' she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went and because she'd been there before the man guessed Kim's correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.
Kim and Joe walked around the carnival and again he asked,
'Where to next?'
Kim responded: 'I want to get weighed,' but by this time Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her flatmate, Laura, asked Kim about her blind date, 'How'd it go?' she asked.
Kim said, 'Oh, Waura, it was wousy.'
One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'
Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'
The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'
Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.
He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.
He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'
She asks, 'Oh, how come?'
He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
and the other one said, 'No they look like moose tracks.'
They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
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