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Jay's Site.com > Humor > Jokes > Religious Jokes
The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below.
The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth,
'I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand.'
The Pope says, 'No way. You can't do that.'
The Queen says, 'Watch this.' So she waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union jacks on sticks and cheering and basically going ballistic.
So the Pope is standing there going, 'Uh oh, what am I going to do? I never thought she'd be able to do it.'
So he thinks for a minute and then he turns to her and says, 'I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head.'
The Queen says, 'No way. It can't be done.'
So the Pope head butts her.
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion
about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to
reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor
granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?"
Absolute silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"
Two Jewish men are sitting in a cafe. One asks, "So what's new?"
The second replies, "My son -- my pride and joy -- has decided to become a Catholic."
The first replies, "Funny you should mention it -- ten years ago my son did exactly the same thing!"
So they decide to go to the synagogue and talk with the Rabbi. THey tell the Rabbi their plight, and the Rabbi says, "Funny you should mention it. 25 years ago, my son did the same thing. As you can see, it did not change my faith."
So they decide to pray. Halfway through the first prayer, the first man blurts out, "Dear God! My son has left the faith and become a Catholic!" And a big booming voice from above says, "Funny you should mention it ...."
A Scottish cop was asked how he'd break up a crowd.
He answered, "I'd take up a collection."
A little girl is failing math, so her father decides to enroll her in Catholic school with the hopes of improving her grades.
During the first quarter, the girl refuses to play with her friends or even eat dessert after dinner in order to have more time to study.
On report card day, her father is astonished to see she earned an A+ in math.
“Why the sudden change of attitude about math?” her father inquires. “Do the nuns punish you?”
“No,” the girl replies, “but when I saw the little man on the wall nailed to the plus sign, I knew that this school was very serious about math!”
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here, and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...."HEBREWS"
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